Dumpweed

It’s understood, I said it many ways
Too scared to run, I’m too scared to stay
I said I’d leave, but I could never leave her
And if I did, you know I’d never cheat her
But this I ask, it’s what i want to know
How would you feel if I should choose to go
Another guy, you think itd be unlikely
Another guy, you think he’d want to fight me

She’s a dove, she’s a fuckin’ nightmare
Unpredictable, it’s my mistake to stay here
On the go and it’s way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train

I heard it once, I’m sure I heard it twice
My dad used to give me all of his advice
He would say you got to turn your back and run now
Come on son, you haven’t got a chance now

She’s a dove, she’s a fuckin’ nightmare
Unpredictable, it’s my mistake to stay here
On the go and it’s way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train

She’s a dove, she’s a fuckin’ nightmare
Unpredictable, it’s my mistake to stay here
On the go and it’s way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train

I need a girl that I can train
I need a girl that I can train
Turn your back and run now
You haven’t got a chance now

need a girl that I can train
need a girl that I can train
Turn your back and run now
You haven’t got a chance now

 

Don’t Leave Me

Don’t leave me all alone
Just drop me off at home
I’ll be fine, it’s not the first
Just like last time, but a little worse

She said that I’m not the one that she thinks about and
She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down
I said don’t let your future be destroyed by my past
She said don’t let my door hit your ass

One more chance, I’ll try this time
I’ll give you yours, I won’t take mine
I’ll listen up, pretend to care
Go on ahead, I’ll meet you there

She said that I’m not the one that she thinks about
She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down
I said don’t let your future be destroyed by my past
She said don’t let my door hit your ass

Let’s try this one more time with feeling
One more time with feeling
One more time with feeling
One more time with feeling

She said that I’m not the one that she thinks about
She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down
I said don’t let your future be destroyed by my past
She said don’t let my door hit your ass

Don’t leave my all alone
Just drop me off at home, and I’ll be fine

 

Aliens Exist

Hey mom there’s something in the backroom
Hope it’s not the creatures from above
You used to read me stories
As if my dreams were boring
We all know conspiracies are dumb

What if people knew that these were real
(These were real)
Id leave my closet door open all night
Know the CIA would say
What you hear is all hearsay
Wish someone would tell me what was right

Up all night long
And there’s something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I’m not like you guys
I’m not like you

I am still the skeptic, yes you know me
(Yes you know me)
Been best friends and will be till we die
(Die)
I got an injection
Of fear from the abduction
My best friend thinks I’m just telling lies
Alright

Up all night long
And there’s something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I’m not like you guys
I’m not like you

Dark and scary, ordinary, explanation, information
Nice to know ya, paranoia
Wheres my mother, bio-father

Up all night long
And there’s something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I’m not like you guys
Twelve majestic lies…

 

Going Away To College

Please take me by the hand
It’s so cold out tonight
I’ll put blankets on the bed
I wont turn out the light
Just dont forget to think about me
And I wont forget you
I’ll write you once a week she said

Why does it feel the same
To fall in love or break it off
And if young love is just a game
Then I must have missed the kick off
Don’t depend on me to ever follow through on anything
But I’d go through hell for you and

I haven’t been this scared in a long time
And I’m so unprepared so here’s your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This worlds an ugly place
But youre so beautiful to me

I’ll think about the times
She kissed me after class
And she put up with my friends
I acted like an ass
I’d ditch my lecture to watch the girls play soccer
Is my picture still hanging in her locker

I haven’t been this scared in a long time
And I’m so unprepared so here’s your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world’s an ugly place
But you’re so beautiful

 

What’s My Age Again?

I took her out, it was a Friday night
I wore cologne to get the feeling right
We started making out, and she took off my pants
But then I turned on the TV

And that’s about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you’re 23
And are still more amused by TV shows
What the hell is ADD?
My friends say I should act my age
What’s my age again?
What’s my age again?

And later on, on the drive home
I called her mom from a pay phone
I said I was the cops
And your husbands in jail
This state looks down on sodomy

And that’s about the time that bitch hung up on me
Nobody likes you when you’re 23,
And are still more amused by prank phone calls,
What the hell is caller ID?
My friends say I should act my age
What’s my age again?
What’s my age again?

And that’s about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you’re 23
And you still act like you’re in Freshman year
What the hell is wrong with me?
My friends say I should act my age
What’s my age again?
(What’s my age again?)

And that’s about the time that she broke up with me
No one should take themselves so seriously
With many years to go and fall in line
Why would you wish that on me?
I’ll never wanna act my age
What’s my age again?
What’s my age again?

What’s my age again?

 

Dysentery Gary

Got a lotta heartache
He’s a fuckin weasel
His issues make my mind ache
Want to make a deal
Cause I love your little motions
You do with your pigtails
What a nice creation
Worth another night in jail

He’s a player, diarrhea giver, tried to grow his hair out
When friends were listening to Slayer
I’d like to find him Friday night
Hanging out with mom trying on his fathers tights
Life just sucks, I lost the one
I’m giving up
She found someone
There’s plenty more, girls are such a drag

So all you little ladies
Be sure to choose the right guys
You’ll come back to me maybe
I’ll shower you with lies
Got a lotta heartache
He’s a fuckin weasel
Decisions make my mind ache
Want to make a deal

Ease away the problems and the pain
The girl chose the one guy who makes you want to kick and scream
All along, you wish that she would stay
Fuck the guy who took and ran away

He’s a player, diarrhea giver, tried to grow his hair out
When his friends were listening to Slayer
I would like to find him Friday night
Hanging out with mom trying on his father’s tights
Life just sucks, i lost the one
I’m giving up
She found someone
There’s plenty more, girls are such a drag
Fuck this place, I lost the war
I hate you all
Your mom’s a whore
Where’s my dog, girls are such a drag

 

Adam’s Song

I never thought I’d die alone
I laughed the loudest who’d have known?
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine I didn’t think enough
I’m too depressed, to go on
You’ll be sorry when I’m gone

(Chorus)
I never conquered rarely came
Sixteen just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn’t wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, we’d survived
I couldn’t wait, till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never thought I’d die alone
Another six months I’ll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You’ll never step foot in my room again
You’ll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault

(Chorus)

I never conquered rarely came
Tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can’t wait to get outside
The world is wide the time goes by
The tour is over I’ve survived
I can’t wait till I get home
To pass the time in my room alone.

 

All The Small Things

All the small things
True care, truth brings
I’ll take one left
Your ride best trip
Always, I know
You’ll be at my show
Watching, waiting, commiserating

Say it aint so, I will not go
Turn the lights off, carry me home
Na, na……

Late night, come home
Work sucks, I know
She left me roses by the stairs
Surprises let me know she cares

Say it aint so, I will not go
Turn the lights off, carry me home
Na, na……

Say it aint so, I will not go
Turn the lights off, carry me home
Keep your head still, Ill be your thrill
The night will go on,my little windmill

Say it aint so, I will not go
Turn the lights off, carry me home
Keep your head still, I’ll be your thrill
The night will go on, the night will go on
my little windmill

 

The Party Song

Do you want to come to a party
My friends picked me up in their truck at 11:30
This things at a frat house but people are cool there
Reluctantly I followed but I never dreamed there
Would be someone there who would catch my attention
I wasn’t out searching for love or affection
Said I paid my 3 and the girls got in free
Shined the beer for tequila and we headed into the party

And than in the backyard some terrible ska band
Someone in the background was doing a keg stand
This place is so lame all the girls look the same
All these guys have no game I wish I would have stayed
In my bed back at home watching TV alone
Where I’d put on some porn or have sex on the phone
Far from people I hate down from anywhere state
Trying to intoxicate girls to give them head after the party

And then I saw her standing there
With green eyes and long blond hair
She wasn’t wearing underwear, at least I prayed that
She might be the one, maybe we’d have some fun
Maybe we’d watch the sunrise
But that night I learned some girls try too hard

Some girls try too hard
Some girls try too hard to impress
With they way that they dress
With those things on their chests
And the things they suggest to me

I couldn’t believe what this lady was saying
The names she was dropping, the games she was playing
She dated this guy who now rides for Black Flys
How she’s down with the wise well-constructed disguise
Now I’d rather go dateless then sit here and hate this
Her volume of makeup her fake tits were tasteless
So I said I’d call her but never would bother
Until I got turned down by another girl at a party

So when you see her standing there
With green eyes and long blond hair
She won’t be wearing underwear, and you’ll discover
This girl’s not the one, and she’ll never be fun
You should just turn and run because you’ll find out that
Some girls try too hard

Some girls try too hard
Some girls try too hard to impress
With the way that they dress
With those things on their chests
And the things they suggest to me
Some girls try too hard
Some girls try too hard

 

Mutt

He pauses shaving and he tells himself that he is the bomb
She has her curlers set,
Her credit cards are paying the funds
Hes not that old, I’ve been told a strong sexual goal
He goes out every day, she goes every way, oh yeah
And they don’t even care at all

She’s open waiting for more
And I know he’s only looking to score
And it is way too unhealthyer
Often they typically
Been starved for attention before

She smokes a dozen and he doesn’t seem to notice the smell
He took the seat off his own bike because the way that it felt
He wants to bone, this I know she is ready to blow
They go out every night, his pants are super tight, oh yeah
And they don’t even care at all

She’s open waiting for more
And I know he’s only looking to score
And it is way too unhealthyer
Often they typically
Been starved for attention before

 

Wendy Clear

Let’s take the boat out on the bay
forget your job for just one day
I wish it didn’t have to be so bad

it might be inappropriate because
either way our band gets dropped, oh yeah
I wish it didn’t have to be so bad

But I’d play with fire to break the ice
and I’d play with a nuclear device
is it something I’ll regret?
why do I want what I can’t get?
I wish it didn’t have to be so bad

The three-date theory is getting old
everyone is getting left out in the cold
I wish it didn’t have to be so bad

So I’ll see you with another guy
who pretends not to hear you when you cry, oh yeah
I wish it didn’t have to be so bad

But I’d play with fire to break the ice
and I’d play with a nuclear device
is it something I’ll regret?
why do I want what I can’t get?
I wish it didn’t have to be so bad

I’ll be moving on, moving on
moving on, and on and on
moving on, moving on
moving on and on and on

But I’d play with fire to break the ice
and I’d play with a nuclear device
is it something I’ll regret?
why do I want what I can’t get?
I wish it didn’t have to be so bad
I wish it didn’t have to be so bad
I wish it didn’t have to be so bad
I wish it didn’t have to be so bad
(I wish it didn’t have to be so bad!)

 

Anthem

Home show, mom wont know
Run out the back door
He’s passed out on the floor
Third time, been caught twice
Forgive our neighbor Bob
I think he humped the dog

But good things come to those who wait
Cause she laid me
And mom and dad posses the key
Instant slavery
No need explain the plan
No need to even bother
I’ll pack my bags I swear I’ll run
Wish my friends were 21

White lies, bloodshot eyes
Breath of alcohol
Stole it from the mall
How’s Chris marked with lipstick
Better call their fathers
Sleeping with your daughters
But good things come to those who wait
Cause she laid me
And mom and dad posses the key
Instant slavery
No need explain the plan
No need to even bother
I’ll pack my bags I swear I’ll run
Wish my friends were 21

You dont belong, you left the kids to carry on
You planned their fall
Too bad youre wrong, dont need a mom dad slave drive song
I time bomb

Turn low the radio
I think I hear my dad
Yelling at the band

But good things come to those who wait
Cause she laid me
And mom and dad posses the key
Instant slavery
No need explain the plan
No need to even bother
I’ll pack my bags I swear I’ll run
Wish my friends were 21

You dont belong, you left the kids to carry on
You planned their fall
Too bad you’re wrong, dont need a mom dad slave drive song
I time bomb